hey

im soo lost i dont know what to do i feel like a complete failure and no good!!....i honestly dont know what to do!!:(

anyhu no matter how hard i try how often i say to myself its iv stopped blaming myself for my dads death I DOSENT WORK!!i cant stop blaming myself for it when i say ive stopped blaming myself for it after a lil bit i realise im just triking myself and it dosent work!!aaargh i dont know what to do im soo lost!!i love god but right now i just want to kneel and cry its soo hard and my uncle killed himself because my dad did and my brother nearly did aswell and so i feel and cant seem to stop feeling like its my fault for all of that!!help me!!i dont know what to do!:(

los of love

hayleyx0x0

hullo

well i got a job and its exzactly what and where i wanted to work its a daycare and looking after babies YAY  i fully love working with babies and kids....and i even know someone who works there she one of my old bible studies leaders so thats really cool!!praise god!!....!!well yea i had a really awesum weekend with my friends skool ball stuff!!i got all dressed up it took like an hour or so to do my hair and it looked ssooo cool!!it was an amazing week i have just had!!

well i better go talk 2 you soon!!

luf ya'll x0x0

heya

w0w im feelin quite a bit better now lol anyhu im bored but tonight has been great ive had the house to myself and just been chilling talked to some mates and yea it was good!!anyhu g0ds awesome!!lol random but so much stuff is going on at the moment so i figure i just need to focus on god and let him help me and just totally surreder it all to him!!.......well this prolly dosent make any sense but im just in total peace at the moment its weird but god is gr8 and yea!!

keep smiling

love n hugs

hayleyx0x0x0x0

im in total surrender!!:)just the way it should be!!:)

hi

well im really nervous at the moment because in a few hours i have to ask my mum if i can move to the other side of the world on my own to do missions wit some people!!so yea i dont really know how thats going to work im hhoping and praying and trusting god that he will ork in her life to calm her and help her to say yes cuz i know god is REALLY wanting me to do this so yea!!.....im kinda stressing about that like panicing i dont want to tell her......i wish i could just go and tell her when im there lol thatd be good!!.lol....but i dosent work that way ohwell i just have to keep trusting god he will work it out!!..........love from haylz